THE SIMPLE ACT of VALIDATION & ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

When you can spare five minutes, please use it to watch the touching video seen below.

It shows interaction between Naomi Feil, who developed what she has termed Validation Therapy for older people with cognitive impairments and dementia. In this video she is administering Validation Therapy to Gladys Wilson, an elderly Alzheimer's patient who is non-communicative.

The basic principle of the therapy is the concept of validation or the reciprocated communication of respect which communicates that the other's opinions are acknowledged, respected, heard, and (regardless whether or not the listener actually agrees with the content), they are being treated with genuine respect as a legitimate expression of their feelings, rather than marginalized or dismissed.

Don't we all crave such acknowledgement and validation? Don't we all deserve this?

This need isn't limited to those who are elderly or sick or suffering in some way. Indeed, it is believed that  needless suffering is often created as a result of the lack of validation and acknowledgement by other human beings.

To be acknowledged is to be seen, to be heard. We can acknowledge someone with a simple smile or greeting rather than look beyond them as though they do not exist. Whether it is a loved one, a friend, a co-worker, a neighbor, a clerk or server, strangers on the street or the bus, validate their existence with a hug, a smile, a "hello" or wave, or simply make eye contact. Acknowledge that you see them.

Truly listen when others speak, rather than formulate your reply without hearing them. Acknowledge that you hear them.

The simple act of validation and acknowledgement can change lives, and it's a simple act every single one of us has the ability to do when we encounter another human being.

Jiffy (Cornbread Mix) Shows the Spirit of Wishadoo!

Today, I stumbled upon a wonderful article by Cory Suter of Policymic, which tells the story of one of America's oldest companies.  





"JIFFY" Mix is a product of Chelsea Milling Company, operated by a family whose roots in the flour milling business date back to the early 1800’s. They have been milling flour in Chelsea, Michigan, for over 120 years.

Mr. Suter's article shares why, in his view,  there are "7 Reasons This Muffin Mix Can Save America."  Here are the first three:

1. Jiffy mix sells over 55% of all muffin mixes in the United States, but doesn't spend a dime on advertising.
2. Jiffy mix denies Wall Street a chance to make money from other people's work.
3. Jiffy mix management treats their employees the way they would like to be treated.

I happen to agree and encourage you to read the entire article.  In fact, Mr. Howdy Holmes (CEO) and his company put Wishadoo!'s vision and values into action, combining a dedication to community, cooperation and compassion in practical, time-honored ways.

As Mr. Suter so astutely states, "One of the world's most widely recognized ethical standards is to do to others as you would have them do to you. By separating the owners and executives of companies from the communities where these same companies do business, the corporate structure of business has increasingly lost sight of this traditional American ethic. Cutting employee benefits and jobs to enrich Wall Street has become almost as common as hidden fees, and hiring lobbyists to gain unfair competitive advantages.

Small businesses and exceptional American companies like Jiffy mix, built our country's once-broadly shared prosperity. Sadly, thanks to Wall Street greed, large civic-minded companies are a dying breed. If all companies were as ethical as Jiffy mix, then most Americans could support the far right agenda to get rid of all the regulations. The best solutions are, of course, not so simple. We need commonsense protections from corporate abuse at the same time we need to scale back regulations that exist primarily to give big businesses advantages over competitors. Because, so few companies are like Jiffy mix, America needs a smart government of the people, by the people and for the people."

Indeed.  Kudos to Cory Suter.   Kudos to Policymic for being a platform for sharing the insight, thoughts and wisdom of Millenials, and HUGE kudos to JIFFY Mix for setting a brilliant example of integrity in business.

ONE MORE DAY (guest post)

by Angela, of the Wishadoo! Community

It's Easter morning -- the most important day of the year for Christians.  

Even those of us whose faith is tenuous find it in ourselves at Easter, and come together in houses of worship to praise and be thankful for salvation.   Although I was raised in the Christian tradition, and still hold in my heart many of those tenets (Love Thy Neighbor, Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You,  What You Do For the Least of These You Do For Me, etc.), 

I consider myself more of a "sampler" of religions -- I find what speaks to my heart and adopt that as my "religion".  Many people take issue with that, but in my humble opinion, religion is a personal choice.  It is a way to communicate with God/Spirit/The Universe/My Higher Self, so why shouldn't it be personalized to what works for me?  (AND, I'm off on a tangent)   Regardless of your religion, however, it's still a lovely time to be with family and celebrate and be thankful for the return of springtime.  After a long night of rain, we're seeing a glimpse of sunlight and hearing the lilt of birdsong, so our fears of a wash-out were unfounded.

I awoke around dawn this morning, went to check on my elderly mother -- my beloved mama -- and made the coffee.  She was still sleeping peacefully and looked so warm and cozy that I didn't have to heart to wake her, so she's still asleep, and I get One More Day with her.  We had talked about going to church today, and that could still happen, but right now she's so peaceful, I refuse to interrupt her slumber.  We have so few peaceful nights that I consider this a heavenly gift, and I will not ruin it by forcing her to get up and get ready for church.  She doesn't do well when she's rushed or being forced, so we'll see how the day goes.  We may make it to church, and we may not.  Perhaps we'll pack a picnic lunch and go to the park.  What better way to give thanks for creation than to be in nature (or as close an approximation as we can get in the city) and appreciating it for a while.  It's supposed to be very warm, finally, so she'll enjoy being out in the sun and watching the kids.


This is my first time blogging on Wishadoo.  Dena asked me to write about my experiences being a care-giver, and until now I haven't had to energy or time or nerve or whatever to do it, but this morning seemed like a good time for a new beginning, given the symbolism of this day.  So, here's it is -- my very first blog entry.


In the past few years, I've weathered challenges and hardships I would never have thought I'd have the strength to face, but face them I have, with as much Grace as I could pull from within myself.  And you know what?  When I had no more Grace myself, someone would always come along to share theirs with me.  There are angels among us -- I have absolutely no doubt about that -- from the kind gentleman who helped me when I broke the heel of my shoe and fell into the road in heavy traffic, to the kind lady from the animal shelter who gave us cat food when we couldn't afford to buy it, to the kind online friend who generously offered to help me find work-from-home employment so that we can have some sort of income, to dear friends who have helped us with financial and moral support, to kind strangers who have helped us out financially, to my sweet cousins who have helped us out with tangibles and with loving support, to the compassionate and loving soul who created Wishadoo so that we'd have a place to gather.  Plus, there are so many people who've crossed our path, helped us in some way, and gone on their way -- sometimes without telling us their names -- and I have no way of thanking them personally.  These are angels among us.


I know that her condition is degenerative, and will eventually take her from us, so my concern for now is making what time she has left on this planet as pleasant and uncomplicated for her as possible.  People say to me "you've given up your life to care for her.  why don't you put her in a nursing home?" and I understand their concern is for me, but as I've tried to explain to them, my life will continue long after she's gone and there may come a time when I can no longer give her the care she needs, but for now I can, and I get ONE MORE DAY.  And for that I am thankful.